fairytale

2012-01-29T18:42:00.002+08:00

~period, headache, cough~ best combi for getting me ready for tomorrow's work -.-

got back to baking again! so happy! =) i wish i had an oven at home so i could bake anything and everything. just want to try out different things and all. not that happy with the results though. but now i roughly know what went wrong =) improvements needed! =D

i really wonder who i am to you. it seems as thou u treat all the girls the same. but, why did you say all those things? it seems like no one knows what you're thinking except for yourself. i really am confused by your actions. can you please tell me what you're thinking? and why did you say those things? =(

but i guess i will just wait~

"the smile on your face makes me blush"

2012-01-28T14:20:00.003+08:00

i'm seriously not used to guys taking care of me, guess it's because i'm always the one taking care of them, which includes D. i just feel weird. hmmm. but thank you for the med! =) hope i will recover soon before work starts. haha.

D, please stop asking how i am now. cause i'm doing great. thanks for your concern. yes, i was miserable for the whole week or so, even on 30th dec. but you were the one who ditched me, cheated on me, left me believing there's a chance we will get back together. i even begged you for 3 days, crying every single moment. but you lied once again. you made me really miserable, but, thanks to you, wonderful people came to my life. they made me feel pampered. they took care of me, were there for me when i needed someone. i'm really having the greatest time of my life now. a life that you will never be able to give me. so stop asking me how i am. cause my answer will always be the same. i'm doing very great right now, enjoying my life to the fullest. please refer to my fb if you don't believe me =) but thanks for entering my life 2 and a half years back. cause you made me see things from a different point of view.

"i fell for your smile. i like it how you smile happily. =)"

2012-01-08T21:15:00.002+08:00

我喜欢上一个我不该喜欢的人。

i'm so confused right now. i really don't know what i'm doing.

now, when i think back on the things i've done for him, i felt so silly&stupid. i believe not all girls can do it. i'm just too soft hearted. i hope he won't turn back. all i know is i won't want him back. but i'm soft hearted. hmmm.

but i kinda like the life i'm leading right now? like i can go out with anyone, anytime and anywhere i want to. yet, there's something missing. i don't know how to describe the emptiness. but i know it's there in me no matter what i do. maybe i'm still not used to it ba. for 2.5 years, there's someone by my side no matter where i am, what i do, what time and etc. now it's all gone.

i guess i'm quite irritating. say won't emo and all, end up getting emo randomly. i guess i will stop irritating you with my nonsense and all. cause i don't want you to dislike me or find me irritating. =( i really don't want you to feel that way. =( but yet, i just want to contact you."Sometimes, I don't text you first because I don't want to feel like I'm annoying you."

on a lighter note. i shopped ytd! yes, $300+ gone! felt great! go into first shop --> look--> try--> buy = $103. it felt great. and thanks to the break up, i lost weight and i got to fit into those dresses i thought i wasn't able to wear at all! =D am a happy girl!

2012-01-02T02:42:00.002+08:00

finally! my last post was so last year. oh well.

the last month of 2011 was a disaster yet very happening. i got dumped in the beginning of the month. and very fast, he got together with another girl. but, i'm thankful, i got to know more friends because of this issue. that's why my life is so happening. going out, shopping, doing things randomly, no need to report anything/everything to a particular person. it felt quite good though the emptiness is there. oh oh! i realised i got richer as well, not bad right? haha

i've been thinking, i realised that i've changed somehow or rather. i used to know how to react fast and shoot people (most of the times), and i always love to quarrel and argue back. but after that incident, i realised i got quieter. maybe it's because that's one of the reasons why he left and it changed me. i wasn't able to react and shoot back (in a joking way) now to anyone. i believe those who're close to me and have tasted how i shoot them will see the difference in me.

somehow or rather, i like this quieter me, yet at the same time, i feel weird. cause the friends i make now are different. maybe it's my fault, i don't know when to be serious and when not to. that's why i'm always at the extreme ends and never in the middle (something i hope to achieve).

i do know that my life is boring, i don't play games, i don't know anything new. but that's because i wasn't exposed to all these things last time. my fault? sigh, everything seems to be my fault. no matter what i do, it'll always be my fault.

at least i lost 4kg since that incident! and i want to lose more to hit my target and gain the confidence which i didn't have since a teenager. i will work hard towards it.! plus, i will explore the new me and see what changes i can do =)

first post for the year seems like a reflection journal before sleep, yet being an emo post for the year. great job, ly. nights!

2011-07-31T22:26:00.001+08:00

i really need to save up for taiwan trip! =( 2K for air tickets, 2K+ for expenses. sigh. where to find money leh? sigh.

i will start my new savings plan when i get my july pay this coming week! shall see if it works. sigh

2011-07-03T16:03:00.003+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK! GO TO HELL!!!!

going out with 4 girls ALONE seems fine with u huh? u don't even bother asking who's going and you said it's fine with jus four girls and u! WTF ARE U THINKING!? since u want it this way. dun ever blame me for doing what u did to me! FUCKER! our relationship is always not stable, blame those people and yourself! there are things u can avoid, but u chose not to. u seriously dun deserve me! NOT AT ALL!

i'll have my sweet revenge on you before you know it. fuck off!

2011-05-02T12:40:00.002+08:00

woah! i'm single!

maybe you aren't the one for me. don't expect me to apologise when i've done nothing wrong that caused this break up. you made it all happened. fuck this!

2011-04-22T21:18:00.003+08:00

fulfilled most of the things on my wishlist! YEAH! hahah

oh oh! my gpa increased by 0.02 BTW. hahaha. and im super happy bout it. plus DS's overall grade is the one which im most happy about! muahahah!

taiwan is so fun! can't wait to go back there again! but i will need at least 4K by end of yr! =( 2K for the taiwan trip inclusive of tickets+hotel+ expenses!, another 2K for my custom made wardrobe or DSLR. hahah. if really can, i want all by end of yr! which means additional of 1.5K for the cam! ='(

im thinking if i should get custom made wardrobe or find the biggest one in stores so it will be cheaper then i can save more as well. AHHHH! everything's bout money! if not is i give up the taiwan trip in dec for the other two items then go taiwan in march. hahaha! i want to go back taiwan! this time i shall bring my parents along! though i'm not the one paying for them, but at least for now, i bring them overseas first then when im really earning, i shall pay for their trip. EVERYTHING! hahahaha

ok, set! its either dec or march we go taiwan! OMG!!! really need save money to really enjoy over there!! AHHH! my opinion now is to get the wardrobe plus camera leh.. then march go taiwan. but yet, i tot of getting the cam then go taiwan. but i wan wardrobe as well! camera confirm must get before go taiwan. cox i wan super nice photos!! heeee!

600D is around 1.4K, trip is around 2K, wardrobe (normal: 1.5K, custom made: 2k+)= 5.5K -.- where tog et the money?! hahah. if im really tt crazy, i cannot spend my pay till dec so i can get all. HAHAHA. i WISH ah. hahaha

UPDATED!!!!!

spoke to daddy bout this.. and he agreed tt the trip can wait! so for this yr, i shall get the DSLR and wardrobe first!! =D

2011-04-03T15:35:00.002+08:00

my blog's kinda dead huh? hahaha

started working already! =D at aljunied as customer service officer. first day of work was on friday, April's fool day! hahaha. it was fun!! yup! got to learn lots of different things. i mean next few working days! first day started to learn to key in orders from customers and all. knowing bits and pieces of the systems. quite fun! haha. but who knows i will get bored during the following months? hahaha. i will be spending my 21st birthday in the office!! =( plus my 22nd month with baby, in the office as well! cause both falls on the same day!! =DD but luckily on our 2nd anniversary is on a sat!! HEEEEEE! so lucky!!!

yesterday, SAS had the graduation dinner @ Fort canning. by the end of the dinner, everyone's appearance was kinda unglamorous. because of the heat and warmth! hahaha. i think maybe i should get a powder form foundation after i earn money. hahah.

can't wait for work tomorro!!! and of course, 12 may is our graduation ceremony! and it's my 23rd monthsary with baby!! =DD on that day, filzah and shuyu will be witnessing my graduation ceremony in place of my parents. hahahaha

2011-03-07T18:32:00.002+08:00

should i get the cam from courts? sigh. if i intend to get it from there, warranty is theirs, not Canon's. sigh. and i can get it before i go taiwan as well. it's all so tempting. and it's by installements some more. sigh. don't know if they getting the cam for me as well, what if i buy ler then spoil their surprise? (i dun even know this). ARGH! i don't know.. sigh. i'm so confused.. what should i do?

and 600D is coming out soon. real soon, not sure of the price. specs wise, some say 550D is better, some say otherwise. but it's got articulated screen!! so cool! can snap photos easily from different angles plus, there's the new basic +. and those other modes tt 550D doesn't has. shall see the price difference then.

and EOS1100D is stunning with the colours!! got red! omg! hahaha. but not gg to look at that.. hahah. if want buy, should buy something tt is better. sigh..

2011-03-07T00:01:00.002+08:00

first YACHT party on sat =) so spectacular for a 21st. haha. it was my dearest girlfriend's 21st, jihui. =D just love her lots, and looking at her presents make me "WOW". hahahah. LV, chanel, Dior and don't know what other brand names. hahaha. oh oh! still got photographer lorr! 0.o

alright.. after my "WOW" post on a bdae party, i wan to post to "PRE-WOW" overseas trip to taiwan. hahah. there are so many things i want to do over there!! i want to EAT, SHOP, DO NAILS, TRAVEL AROUND and TAKE LOTSA PHOTOS! oh man, i don't know how to contain my excitement! -.- now its only 7th!!!! FREAKING 14 more days! but the days aren't getting by any faster!! how i wish it faster pass by to the date i'm going to go, then slow down on the 6 days i'm there. hahahha!

so many things to buy back! need to get some gifts as well! firstly for jihui, yan and CO, then shuyu, filzah and ting, then derrick's family, my family! of course if i have enough cash, their families also get to share the excitement i bought back! hahahaha. can't wait to change the money! once i've changed it, i will make sure i take photos of them! muahahaha

2011-03-02T13:15:00.002+08:00

i want so many things!!!

- A JOB!! hope to get the MOM one.. sigh..

- money!

- canon 550D!

- wardrobe!

still got a lot of things i can't think of!! sigh.. going taiwan soon.. but now i think bout it.. I DON'T HAVE A GOOD CAMERA FOR MY CELEBRATION!!!!! sigh. FML.. tell me what can i do now? should i buy from courts by paying installments? but that's going to cost ALOT MORE!!! usual cam is $1200 (if buy from john 316)-$1349 (if buy from courts), if pay by installments, it's going to cost $2880, FREAKING $1531 MORE!!! seriously this sucks. guess i can only get it after months of working. hope to get the job from MOM though. but i'm afraid to send in resume now then get reply during the week when im in taiwan!!! =( how?!?! sigh. yet i feel like sending in during this week. 2 weeks more and i'm flying ler =( sigh. how?!?!?! or should i send it in after i come back? but mummy scared i can't get a job =( sigh. shall discuss with her bout it..

and yes, i'm still coughing like never ending -.- anytime, i can cough my lungs out, seriously. first time in my life, i so guai, on time eat med lorr -.- for two days alrdy. hope to get better before jihui's birthday.. argh... nothing is going smoothly.. ARGH!!!!!!!

2011-02-27T20:07:00.001+08:00

OMG!!!

in just 22 more days and i will be out of SG! OH MY! so excited! hee.. can't wait to enjoy and all!! WEEE!!!

2011-02-26T17:26:00.002+08:00

Nope, i was never part of it. all along, it was just part of my fantasy.

and it's always like this. not that surprised...

told myself that it will be alright, but it's never going to be alright.

maybe the reason is being different from you people that caused this to happen...

am i wrong to be different in the first place?

what must i do to be accepted willingly and not be forgotten that easily?

i guess i'm just fit to be alone..

because i'm someone who's easily forgotten, neglected and left out

reason being... i'm different...

FML

2011-01-31T20:53:00.002+08:00

first thing to buy with my own pay would be a WARDROBE! i need/ want one BADLY! =(

i've plan my future out.. i just hope to fulfill it! just hope to get the job by april, and then, i will update it and mention bout my future plan over here =P

UT 3 coming and will end within a period of 3 days.. after which i can prepare to go taiwan!! =D OMG! then it will the end of 3 yrs of hell i've suffered..

this school really made me realised so many things; people's nature especially.

2011-01-16T23:26:00.003+08:00

- this is simple yet nice!! hahaha.

- this is more casual =DD

- more for my mum. hahahah!

- HELLO KITTY! hahah.

- good for work. =P

- another casual bag =D

source: http://www.facebook.com/samanthathavasa.sg

all these bags are from Samantha Thavasa =DD so pretty lor their bags. luckily not so ex.. if not i don't know must wait how to to get them! but all these are more for work and outings.. sian.. should buy something more practical i.e. for work + school + outing + casual. where got bags with so many functions one?!! i wish only. hahaha. should save money and go buy one bag with multi functions and can last for at least 1-2 years? haahah.

hope to get a job after coming back from taiwan.. shall look out for the career fair in RP. =D i need to get a job to have money!! =( this year is full of 21st! 0.0 die...

2011-01-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

he went back home alrdy. he's gone for only 3 hours, and i already miss him like mad!

my room is so empty without him now =( house became so quiet already =( sigh... but it's for the best! this way, we wouldn't quarrel so much already =) LOVES! ♥

anyway.. i've given up hopes on getting a burberry bag or agnes B. cox i feel that it's so common! haha. then i came across Samantha Thavasa . OMG, the bags so cute and pretty!!! but i'm not sure of the price... when i work, i should save up lots of money and pamper myself with one of the bags that i've liked. hehe.

and one present i thought of getting will be a DSLR. =P it's meant to be a belated birthday present i'm planning to get myself =D hopefully before corrine's birthday. so i can snap better pictures! sorry jihui, can't be before yours =(

hope the taiwan trip will be a success. =( hope B can go =(

2010-12-21T14:35:00.002+08:00

games is always ur top priority. i don't understand...

you die die say i also got things to do. but have you thought about it? i was trying to find ways to spend more time with you. but all you did was play games.. i'm not a computer person. when i use computer, it's cause i seriously am bored! just trying to find some things to distract me! but you don't know. because all u know is to play games and see that i'm using com means i got something to do.

i don't go out with friends hoping that i could spend time with you at home, but i was wrong. you'd rather spend time with your games thinking that i GOT TONNES of things to do while you're playing game. but do you know why i used com? NO! u fucking don't get it!!

i should really get out, find some friends.. because i bet there's no diff in you.. cause i got go out or not, you'll still be playing games.

yes! u cooked for me and ate with me just now. to you, you already accompanied me. but to me, it was just you being hungry and i got nothing to eat, that's why we ate together. to you, this can last whole day. because you already ACCOMPANIED me by eating and cooking together. how dumb can guys be? i seriously don't understand.

i watch make up tutorial is because i got nothing to do! even in fb, i also scroll up and down to look for friends' update! i got nothing to do! that's why i search for videos to entertain me since my bf cant do it! and when i asked you to accompany me, you said "you also got things to do what! you watch make up tutorial, i accompany you watch meh?!" i kept quiet because i don't want to fight anymore.. ow thinking bout it, i already feel like crying..

i do want to watch shows with you when you asked me to dl. but the thing is, there isn't any nice shows on funshion! and even if there is, i may find it nice, but you may not! searching for shows to watch should be done together! in case the show might bore one and not the other! you seriously don't get it.. when will you ever learn all these things?! if i tell you, confirm will be scolded by you. i really don't know what to do..

is it really our fate? i don't know.. am i really fated not to be accompanied most of the times? i dont know.

2010-12-16T11:41:00.003+08:00

i bought ms monster her first ever clothes. ahhh! so cute! hahahah. her first bdae will be on 30th jan =D and i will make sure i buy another set of clothes for her! =D so cute! going to try other clolours.. maybe buy those panties for babies; 3 @ $10. hahah. so cute!!!

2010-12-13T09:06:00.002+08:00

we're always quarreling over small matters,

when will this stop? seriously, i don't have the answer.

why are my opinions always not considered by you?

i was just telling you what i think, because i don't think it suits you.

but to you, i'm controlling you.

maybe it's us,

i love to nag/give comments,

while you on the other hand, wants to decide yourself yet wants to ask for opinions.

why?

why is it so difficult for us to be together?

why must we suffer like this? being together should be a happy thing..

but why is this happening? why always quarrel? i don't know...

maybe it's because of me, that's why we're like this.

i'm really tired of quarreling.. but if i don't quarrel with you,

it meant that i stop telling you my opinions or telling you how i feel..

you don't want this, you said before because you think that you'll not feel my love..

but what do you want me to do? i want to stop quarreling! this is the only way to stop everything!

because it's always me who speaks and ends up, we quarrel...

please, tell me what to do.. i'm really tired of quarreling...

2010-12-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

if only....

money really is the roots of all evil, agree? sometimes i wonder why there are arrogant and selfish RICH people. are they so afraid of people poorer than them or are they just finding it hard to part with their money? it really keeps someone wondering "WHY?!"

initially i had plans on going overseas to further study.. i'll need to have a guarantor in oder to loan money from banks and they will need to be rich.. so parents suggested asking our "KIND" rich relatives (they had so high hopes actually, because the "KIND" relatives seemed really "KIND". they thought that the relatives would help me, because i'm actually asking them for help for me to study rather than gambling the money away...) but things turn out differently.. they rejected straight into my parents face... "I SEE YOUR TRUE COLOURS...."- wonder if the lyrics of the song came from a situation similar to this. hahaha. i wasn't that disappointed actually, because i do know that poor people will always get this kind of treatment and was prepared for it..

searched for other options in Singapore and found PSB academy.. they have this interesting course which interests me the most.. there aren't any other schools having such course (i think), other than NP and SP having the diplomas for it. so i'm quite looking forward to it... of course, i intend to work and study at the same time (this happens to all average to poor people who wants to study), though it's gonna be tough, but i believe the hard work's gonna pay off in future.. i don't mind working to earn and save money and study hard.. because i told myself that i don't want to be looked down in future again.. yes, i may not be earning as much as the other cousins from the rich families. but it's already very good that at least i didn't give up studying and admit defeat. i want to give my family especially my parents a good life whereby they can go overseas as and when they like, giving my younger brother a chance to study UNI (locally or overseas for his course, depending on where he wants to without worrying about money), getting things my elder brother wants for his computer or whatsoever...

i seriously don't mind doing all these things when i'm financially stable after my degree.. of course in near future (3-4 years down the road), i might not be able to fulfill these wishes/dreams, but at least i'm working towards it and never give up.. i want to earn big bucks and give myself and my family a good life. because we've suffered enough and always quarreling due to money issues.. it's time to put a stop to it and live a life without regrets..

but what are the reasons why rich people act this way? there is/are one or two friend/s of mine who are actually quite generous.. serious, they don't act like they are rich and draw a clear line with poorer people than them. whereby there are really some who thinks that rich people shouldn't be too close to poorer people (like poor and average people got some deadly illness which will pass to them) and they dare not lend money/ be guarantor to/for people like us, so afraid that we will run away (the "KIND" relatives)... freakos.. oh oh, there were some other rich relatives who have heard about me wanting to go overseas to study.. but none reached out a hand to help.. NONE!!!! pathetic.. how pathetic can these people be... they'd rather lose their kinship by showing their TRUE COLOURS than to part with their money. -.- it's such an ugly world.. seriously, this incident really made me learn a lot from these "UGLY" people..

*dreaming away with a speech bubble on top of my head*: "one day, if these people become poor and come begging my family for money, i will make sure i return what they SOWED. muahahahahah..."

--> YEAH RIGHT! as if that will happen! hahahah. this will only happen if the world is turned upside down.. or maybe i'm the only person who won TOTO every time i buy.. i will be filthy rich i tell ya! hahahahahah. dream... continue dreaming, ly... it will only happen in dreams.. dream some more. hahahahah

2010-12-02T13:42:00.002+08:00

asked mummy for opinions..

bout the camera. muahahah! she said if want buy should buy the best. and what i meant by best, is the best among the cameras for beginners. and to buy canon ones. =D so i've decided to buy canon EOS 550D kit which includes the lens priced @ $1,349. it's expensive!! but i so so want it!! =(

can someone be a Santa and buy this for me? =( or maybe buy this for my birthday? =( shall save up money to buy this. and give it to myself as a belated 21st birthday present =P or people may opt to chip in money and give me to buy it, i wouldn't mind. muahahahah

saw three bags when walking around the new shopping mall- nax- or something one. omg! so nice!! the one i fell in love is the black one, priced at $175 =( shall aim to get it before i start work =D muahahaha. i got so many things to buy lorr!!!

and for sure, can go taiwan!! yeah!!! need to check out the tickets and all.. YEAH BABY!

2010-11-28T16:43:00.003+08:00

OMG!! i'm sooooo fickle minded! =( i'm currently comparing on the different camera brands: Nikon, Canon and Samsung =( ARGH!!! which one is better leh? sigh. i wan nice picture quality leh. =(((( majoy sadness!

2010-11-26T15:02:00.002+08:00

but luckily i have derrick.. if not.. i really don't know what to do.. thanks B.

and thanks yurong and gen. thanks.

2010-11-26T14:20:00.002+08:00

what's wrong with me?

i really don't know.. am i part of you people? i guess i'm not..

unlike you all...

i'm not as friendly...

i don't mingle well with people unless i know them well,

i'm always left out because i don't fit in...

it's difficult to maintain a friendship as we get older...

it may seem that as long as we've been friends for years, we know each other inside out...

but that's not the case...

heard this from someone: "yes, years of friendship. they claim to know you inside out. but in reality, it's not true. turns out, they might be the ones who don't exactly know you'

i realised not long ago that i'm the possessive type of friend. i get insecure when the ones close to me make new friends and become closer to them as days pass. i always got this feeling.. am i psycho? or is there really something wrong with me?

i knew it all along that i'm different from you people because i don't mingle well and i feel uncomfortable when i'm with a group of unknown friend's friends. i always like things in small groups- with those people whom i'm close to... but that doesn't apply to all... some like big parties, while me, on the other hand, prefer to have small gatherings/ celebrations.

i'm not that type of person/ friend who will randomly msg someone/friends to say "hey! i missed you! let's hang out one day!" or "how are you, my friend? hope you're doing fine. i'm just a phone away"... being this type of person made me lose out.. because when i don't keep in contact with my friends myself, they wouldn't (some) = don't know anything (updates) about them = always the last person to know something (or not even anything) = friendship becoming distant...

i've realised... i'm always not included or asked to join... because my friends who KNOWS me will know that i wouldn't go so there isn't a need to pop the question... but what they DON'T KNOW is that i'm that type of person, who cares about sincerity. to me is, at least pop the question be it you know that i will go or not.. at least i do know that i'm in your mind (people whom you plan to ask) when you were going out.. instead of being told or asked by a third party who's being invited/asked to go by you, yourself. it's really embarrassing and SADDENING when i get those updates from a third party when you are my close friends.. so who am i? we claim to be close friends, but are we? we claim to know each other inside out, do we?

in the clique, i'm the one always being left out.. because i know no updates bout you people. even if i know, it's from a third party. it's not that i don't bother to care. it's because i'm not the type of person, you will know this IF you really know me. maybe it's my fault for not being the opposite of who i am.

i get all jealous when i see that i'm not involved in your lives.. should i just stop caring about it? should i just pretend not to know anything or should i just... sigh...

i will get used to it.. eventually... it's not like it happened the first time anyway...

2010-11-18T13:40:00.003+08:00

my new love, NX100!! =D AHHHH! i want to have one!!!! =( next year's target.. get it as a present for myself for my birthday! =D PLEASE make my dream come true!!!! =P hopefully my parents will chip in and i pay the rest!! i don't mind! hahaha..

oh oh, can't wait for my taiwan trip!!!! ALL SO EXCITED! my saving plan is going accordingly! =P

last but not least......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LYY! =D love you!!

2010-11-01T11:37:00.003+08:00

i'm bored in school!!!

was walking around with B yesterday @ town after his haircut at Next @ ION. then i went in to look at burberry bags and wallets. OMG, i just feel like getting one of the bags. i need big, but not to big. jus nice or enough for me to use it as working bag + school bag when i further study -.- sigh. need at least $1400 0.o i don't think i can enter environmental science course if i buy one. hahahah. so what course can i take? sigh..

and i need a wallet badly!!!! i want Agnes B wallet. hahahah! ok, that shall be my aim, an Agnes B wallet + a Burberry bag. cox i cant afford to have both Burberry items! i will DIE faster. ahahah. plus i need to pay my school fees in UNI, plus my own expenses.. hopefully can get a job which pays around 1.5k to 1.8k and only work during weekdays, or hopefully can accommodate my school days in uni. AHHH! sian. all these are aims, not for sure i will get it.. i jus find them nice. hahaha.

2010-10-25T11:42:00.002+08:00

so excited!!! though school started for only like two weeks, and i'm already waiting for it to end!!! AHHH! can't wait for the taiwan trip! i swear that i'm going to enjoy to the fullest! cause it will be the first time going overseas with just friends!! AHH! hahahah.

and i already plan a bit for future. after graduate, go taiwan to enjoy for weeks, then start to find work and start in may 2011, work till around may/ sept 2012 then go study. and i will grad around 2014, as my course only needs 16months. =D then after getting the degree, shall work my ass off to give my children good life as well as mine and B's. shall move in to a nice house of my dream, a car of my own and dream =P OMG! so excited!!!

UT1 not even done, and i'm already hoping for school to end. TSK, liying! get a life! and don't skip/ partial for this last sem! jiayou! score well for this last sem to make yourself proud! start to make notes man!

2010-10-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

what's happening to me?! DAMN IT! sigh.

these few days, i have been forgetting bout little things. kept forgetting to print things for bursary and all, and now what, finally printed out everything and my ez link card is missing 0.0

decided to print a copy for my IC and bank book, got it printed, paid with my ez link, then i place my IC in wallet, bank book inside the big envelope, ez link card inside my left pocket which i always put my HP in. then i left. when i want to take out my HP from that particular pocket, i couldn't find my ez link card. -.- went back to the printing room, but nothing was there. -.- sigh. need to dig out 20$ to make new one.. just hope people are kind to pass it to OSC. hahaha. then i shall collect it from there. hehe. ARGH!!!!!! so fed up. =(

2010-10-16T21:15:00.003+08:00

i really don't know what to do anymore. i gave in, i whine, i did whatever i could to make you smile, but it failed.. why? i really don't know anymore. it just made me so tired that i want to give up but yet i can't bear to.. i don't know what wrong. i really don't.. please leave me if you don't love me anymore because i don't want to suffer anymore.. and you, i don't want to see you suffer.. a phone call received saying something happened, i asked out of concern, but the replies were reluctant and you just went out. i gave in already. what else do you want me to do? i now understand how you felt in the past. i guess now i'm the one who love you more than you love me..

please... tell me what should i do? i'm really going crazy already.. jus a hug from you and i'll pretend nothing happened. just a kiss from you and i'll be a good girl. jus three magical words and i'll love you forever. i need all these from you. but i doubt i'll have it for i lost it already...

will my tears run dry one day? will my love for you die one day? will i feel tired of this one day? i really don't know. and i don't want it to happen.

2010-10-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

ipod nano is freaking small! WTF! hahaha. so cute!!! i want!!! red one seems nice. =P i want so many things. damn.. hahaha. shall see how my saving plan goes by next year =D

unhappy things shall not be posted =/ it will freaking ruin my happy mood. though it already did. but. put that aside.. nano super small! hahahaah!

sat am going to enjoy one (considered) full day with fyp team. hopefully uwl can join, then it's really one full team. then with addition of my special one =D going shop around, sing k and all. woohoo! shall take lots of photos that day =D

school's doing well (i think), people aren't as fun as last year already. maybe is because they are getting older. HAHAHAHA =X

2010-10-10T22:31:00.001+08:00

ok. thanks to DIANA, i got the differences already. and i shall get the "kit" one. this is with lens! =)) 1349$ seh. shall see if dec IT fair got cheap a not. hehe. then if jus nice tt time i got money, maybe i can buy. muahahaha! shall see how =]

2010-10-10T13:16:00.002+08:00

ok, i've decided not to celebrate my birthday already =P

let my friends decide then. hehe. reason being:

1. i'm lazy to plan (though i'm already half way through. hahaha)

2. got tempted to buy Cannon EOS cameras thanks to filzah who brought one out ytd. hahaha (those for first time users of DSLR ones of course)

3. i'm really afraid that i couldn't save enough money to open a party.

4. going taiwan in march with friends = $1000+ needed

=D=D=D

oh my god!! i'm actually looking at DSLR cameras, though i've thought of it before but never really thought that i'm going to buy one all by myself!! (unless my friends decided to buy one for my birthday. i don't mind paying part of it myself =P *wink wink*) hopefully i can get one before going to taiwan.. it will be the first time i'm buying a BIRTHDAY present by myself. UNLESS as stated above. HAHAHAH.

really need to save money and keep finding those temp jobs like IT fair and all =.= then try to get bursary, then save pocket money. if everything goes to plan, i will be able to go taiwan and get a camera BEFORE heading there as well =P

i cant see the differences between EOS 550D Body [$1149+-] and EOS 550D kit (EF S18-551S) [$1349]. i went to the Cannon website, and when i compare, there didn't show/indicate any differences. -.- the only difference between them is $200 0.0 if there's not much difference and i'm a first time user, might as well get the $1149 one. hahahah! *wink wink*

but i hint till like that, i doubt anyone will pay part of it for me lar =( damn. nvm. depend on myself!! =*

website: http://www.canon.com.sg/personal/compare?productfinder=personal-eos&product1=eos-550d&product2=eos-550d-kit-ef-s-18-55-is

AHHHH! damn. taiwan plus camera already $2000+++ -.-jiayou! i can do it! =/

2010-10-06T21:52:00.002+08:00

i'm really tired of being the bad guy. i'm dead tired, i just want to let go of everything and go back to who i was in the past. a person who don't smile/ laugh often. just be a person who is hated by most. i'm used to it, isn't it? why am i so afraid now?

the liying who always give opinions will creased after 12 midnight. i'm tired of giving serious opinions or being the bad guy already. i wasn't like that in the past. i guess i've changed after second year in school or what, i don't know what changed me or when i changed. it just happened so quickly that i wasn't able to realise. you want opinions, can, provided that you don't mind the truths behind those beautiful words.

when i'm dead tired about something, i really am, and i will put an end to everything to prevent me from becoming cold blooded. you want people's opinions, yet, u killed all answers that aren't what you want. what's the need to ask? i gave my last few opinions to bl. he will be the last person to receive my opinions. i will refrain myself from giving opinions already and just agreeing to the things in fyp already. or just listen to what others have to say PROVIDED that they DO have something to say. i doubt they will, because i'm always the bad guy. to others, i'm just someone who SCOLDs, NAG, REBUT, STERN face, FIERCE and everything bad/ on the negative side. but do they really know who i am? nope, they don't. cause if they do, they won't categorize me under these negative views.

i'm actually easy to be understood by others. if they don't, means they don't care. i used to be quiet and all, until i met genevieve and gang. people say that i look scary when i don't smile or what, that is one reason why i became like a crazy woman, laughing, smiling and all. but not for the sake of smiling/laughing lar. but it's because i really enjoy being with them. i do agree that now my remarks are quite bad and/ sarcastic, but most of the times, i was joking. but some took it seriously. because i didn't smile or laugh when saying things. that's me. i can't possibly change everything about me right? might as well kill me and let me be reborn? -.- sigh.. i really don't know anything already. maybe sometimes i speak without thinking, this i agree. but i didn't mean any harm =(

forget it. maybe i'm just no welcomed. that's all. nights.

2010-10-03T13:08:00.002+08:00

omg! there are so many talents in Taiwan!!! such as Jay zhou, wang li hong, luo zhi xiang and many more. omg lar!! they know how to play different instruments, sing, dance, and one more i found out today, wang li hong actually is also a conductor!! he conduct a group of chinese orchestra for his new song! omg lar! then hsiao jing teng, he can play bball! 0.o this really makes me go "WOW!" hahaha.

sing, act, dance, conductor, and of course being good looking! ahhhh! hahahaha. *my boyfriend also know how to sing lorr! also very nice!!! hehe, he's actually singing beside me! =DD*

i want to make full use of my holidays! but it always doesn't seem to work =( next whole week, i'm being booked! FULLY!

-monday: go for fyp

-tuesday: meet filzah & shuyu

-wednesday and thursday: in SP for fyp

-friday: dating with bf

-saturday: celebrate shuyu's bdae

-sunday: might be meeting hui, yan and co for dinner =]

first time, my whole week is fully booked till like that. HAHAHAHA. and bf's going back to pungol cox i'm busy =( gonna miss him =(

2010-09-27T16:15:00.003+08:00

initial plan was to go out with yt and others, but around 9.15am, i had pain around the gastric area in my dream, but when i was woken up by the pain, i realised that it was pain in real life =( i cried for mommy, but she didn't answer me, but i do know that someone's outside. msg-ed yt bout it to inform her that i couldn't make it. i felt very bad.. sigh.

woke up at around 3.45pm. like OMG lar! it's been long since i slept for so long.. and i lost weight! muahahha.

finally uploaded all photos taken using cam. and OMG, yesterday went to cut hair at "next" located at ION 0.o hahaha. kor's friend, Kenny is working there as a professional stylist. so i went to give it a go since both brothers of mine went. and it's nice! i like my new fringe. hahaha. i think he got pissed cox my fringe kept splitting into two when it should be all swept to the right side. super funny. hahah. and sy told me that the girl who blow dry my hair had a difficult time as well. cox she was told to blow my hair inwards, but to no avail. =P my hair kept going back to being straight. HAHAHAH! now i need to learn to comb my hair =D

baby came straight home after swimming after learning that i was having gastric pain =P so sweet of him.. =P then hor!!! when i was working as a promoter at VIVO on tue, 21st, he waited for me for 4.5hours to off work walking around VIVO and he caught a movie in between ALL ALONE lorr! cox initially he was with us (my fyp team) after my fyp, we went to VIVO together, then bl went off to work also and sm and wl went on their own, leaving derrick alone. hahah. so sweet of baby lorr! =D then, i was serving customer half way, i realised someone was beside me, thus i turned and greeted the customers, then i realised is JIHUI and JAMES. hahaha! so sweet of them!! jihui said she specially visited me upon hearing that i was working at VIVO selling mooncakes.. so sweet! hahaha. =DD i'm a very happy girl! =]

celebrated filzah's birthday yesterday (belated) but am glad that she liked the simple simple celebration =D she got to eat desserts and all, then got to choose her own present. hahha. confirm happy girl. hahaha.

as for my birthday, i already started to plan. muahahaha! am so going to ask different people to help me with the different parts. hehe.

2010-09-25T12:34:00.002+08:00

most people are blinded by love ( that's what i think most girls are facing right now =P) but, what's love in reality? both ways, yes. in a girl's point of view, i would think that the guys should love the girls more ( because girls get hurt easily, and this is one way to see if the guy really loves you). while in a guy's opinion, they would prefer the girl to love him more ( reason: unknown).

i said: when either one loves the other more, he or she will be in pain and tire out the most?

hidhir said: take comfort that at least love is being returned. it's sad for someone to love and care another, but it is not being returned.

yes i agree, but how do we know that the love in return is from the bottom of the heart? how to know if it's not? guys think that girls are complicated animals, vice versa for girls. but actually, girls are easily understood, that's if you guys are sincere enough, you will understand your girls more. girls just need the attention from their boyfriends, just be "xi xin" and you will be able to understand them. i can only say my point of view as a girl. guys? i'm not sure. but i heard that they aren't complicated animals as well. hahaha

sigh. girls think that they are right, while guys think that they are right, soo, who's right? i guess, no one. BECAUSE! it takes two hands to clap! hahahah =P

but can we measure true love? or the love we received, can we tell if it's true?

* one funny thing, khus say if love got instruction manual, i should buy it. hahha. i think that if it really exist, everyone should buy it to understand each other better ( your partner in this case). hahaha*

2010-09-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

sigh.. tomorrow is proteomics UT and tue is material science -.- starting to get worried alrdy..

initially for the first two UTs, i wasn't worried bout my gpa dropping. because no matter what gpa i get, i will still end up in private Uni. which means they don't look at our GPA, but our money. =.=

but now, when i thought of proteomics, i start to worry again -.- sigh. its not nice to see our GPA drop la, but yet i don't feel like caring bout it. but i just can't stand our FYP faci look down on us. it's lyk WTF seriously. sigh. just hope that my GPA can maintain at 3 =( ARGH!!!!!

shall study now for proteomics! BYE!!

2010-09-11T16:24:00.004+08:00

new anime i'm into: "Kaichou wa Maid-sama"!!!! it's been a long time since i went crazy over a anime!! OMG!!! i thought it's only 24 episodes in total.. END UP!! it's not!! 0.o went online to search for the total amount of episodes and it's 26!!! i shouldn't have watched so fast 0.0 started watching this at around 12 plus while waiting baby to come home.. then we switched to Vampire Diaries Season II! this is also OMG! hahah. after which, i continued with this anime till 7plus in the morning -.- 5 hours later, i continued back again *i was so excited bout the ending can?!* but end up, 2 more episodes to go! WTF!!!! but this is a super nice anime!! so id Vampire Diaries II!

i should be studying but i'm not. HAHAHAHAAH! die. later start ba!!!! byebye!!!

actually i do have things to mention here.. but.. for my friends' interests, i rather keep it inside. just to say "yes, we are all happy that you're out of her and our lives!"

2010-09-08T18:39:00.002+08:00

i'm really in love with Rimmel's make up products! hahaha. my rimmel's Lasting Finish is going to be finished! but i heard that it stopped productions -.- but am going to try the Stay Matte series =P hope it's as good as the Lasting Finish =D

and yesterday i tried Garnier's PureActive pimple relief. yes, it's quite good. my scars lighten ALOT! hahaha. super cool lar! and pimples aren't that red anymore jus by using it two times a day. =D but shall see long term results =P i've been yawning for a almost perfect skin without foundation for a very long time. hope this don't fail me =P

UT's going on for these two weeks.. but! till now, i haven study! 2 down and 2 more to go for next mon and tue. i really won't be surprised if i do badly for this sem. sigh.

so many birthday celebrations going on!!! $$$! haahah. DEAD! tomorrow am heading to town! maybe i should get the foundation tomorrow! muahahahah! and maybe a foundation brush! =P

2010-08-15T13:52:00.002+08:00

so excited! am hoping to graduate soon!! i really wish to go into UNI, at least a private UNI.

am considering SMa (most prob), this is one private UNI jihui recommended cause i wanted to take on hospitality programme and she says that the cert from SMa is more recognised. and it only take up to 16 months to complete the course! =] around 22k =D quite interested in this school and course =D

i'm quite concerned bout my face problem i.e acne problems -.- am interested in another brand, thinking of changing brand. shall try the brand's ( Ettusais ) Medicated Acne clear spots superior for acne. others shall remain the same brand. then shall change my make up foundation when i'm working after i graduate =P my foundation is finishing soon so. hehe, going to try ettusais also. their foundation ( Sparkling pact ) is something i've been eyeing on for a few months, but i dare not try and i don't have the money to buy it. therefore i'm going to wait. first thing to do is to cure the acne problems i'm currently facing to have a better skin =P there's quite a few things i'm interested in from this bran, but i think better have good skin first then go into other areas. hehe

everything will have to wait, then shall save up money as my pocket money for the UNI period =D don't really want to take anymore money from parents already, UNLESS really no money. haha. but i shall work and see how it goes by then =D

oh ya! i thought of buying a bag to pamper myself after i work. best is that i can use this bag for work and school! =D multipurpose. hahaha.

oh my god, i'm like planning so many things even before my sem 1 ended -.- hahaha. but, who cares, it's good to have planning ahead =P

2010-08-14T15:45:00.005+08:00

i really don't get it. i got quite pissed after what mussy said actually. haha. not angry at him, just angry with the mindset of asshole people.

getting your ass into a poly OR university DOESN'T mean you are CLEVER
going into a ITE or being a drop out DOESN'T mean you're STUPID
i might know something that you don't. it may be something i learnt from a situation which you've not/ won't gone/be going into
things we know in our life doesn't only revolve around our SCHOOL(s) (famous/neighbourhood schools, RECOGNISED poly i.e TP,NP,NYP,SP or "RETARDED" poly- this is something SG people always say about RP, LOCAL/private Universities or other institutes)
everyone is facing different situations (ALL the time), and these different situations make us learn different things in life. these 'information' either make us learn&grow or still end up being the same which means not learning anything
nobody is stupid or dumb. don't keep looking down on yourselves. i.e so what if RP is having a different way of teaching, this doesn't mean that the school/ STUDENTS are dumb or stupid. think positive, we're SPECIAL! =D OR being in a ITE/drop-out doesn't mean you're dumb thus you end up different from other people of your ages. if you're thinking this way, you're REAL DUMB.

typical Singaporeans have the mindset of ITE/ drop-out students being hooligans or stupid/dumb people who don't know how to study. everyone has their own way/pace to study things. they end up like this is cause people are giving up on them easily when they stir up trouble. yes, i agree that they are hooligans in some places, but that doesn't make them totally bad. ok, i agree that those people in prison or had been into prison are scary, but however, i believe there's a good side in them which they don't show because most of the people don't believe or give them enough trust, thus they give up on themselves.
some people are worth being given a chance to redeem themselves (there are just some idiots who are the black sheeps who always make the 'market' bad which cause bad image to others also)
if you are a University student, PLEASE fucking don't look down on other people who aren't as FORTUNATE as you to enter a University. some people enter private university as they couldn't enter a local one, and they should be more encouraged as they at least took the effort to get their backside into a uni and get a higher cert. this means they want to strive better for a better future
oh ya! one more thing: DON'T ever think that you're so good or CLEVER. and have a mindset that people around YOU MUST be like you. i.e get into the same University, get a HIGH GPA, be as clever as you as you think you are REAL clever, being bilingual or whatever you can think of for the person to be like YOU! even twins also don't have the EXACT same knowledge/mindset -.-
just something quoted from CLARA sim =D : "you say you're rich? but as compared to the wealthiest man what u earn isn't anything as compared to his. you say you're smart and knowledgeable? but what you know is only a tiny weeny bit of the world's knowledge. you say you're generous? but can you give what you have too other poorer then you. you say you're compassionate but can you share your love with everyone around you if not you are just as poor as me!!!!"

so who are the hell are you to judge if this person is clever or stupid? no one can judge except for himself/herself! stop changing people to be like you! if you're so fucking clever, you should be using this clever-ness in you to help the world by inventing good stuffs and you should have earn BIG BUCKS at a very young age plus, there isn't a need for you to study anymore! cause you're so clever! please thank the school and other situations/people who helped you in gaining more knowledge than what you originally have -.- be thankful man!

2010-08-11T16:54:00.003+08:00

FUCK LAR!

everything is my fault! EVERYTIME!

long time ago, my com was complained of using too much of internet (WIRELESS) and that causes the other users to be disconnected. ok, i go buy the wire and use WIRED. all the way until few days ago, kor bought a new router which is better. they say can use wireless, but sometimes will be disconnected --> FYI! this time is not my problem, it's the router. then jh found smth wrong with HIS WIRELESS, thus he took my WIRE and use internet, which left me using WIRELESS. i don't like using the m1 portable modem, cause it's FUCKING SLOW! it takes around 5-10mins to load a pg and sometimes still got error or say the pg cannot load cause it's taking too long to response. so i used WIRELESS. then now what?! MY FUCKING PROBLEM ALREADY IS IT?! you took the fucking wire away and blame me for using the stupid fucked up WIRELESS and say it's my computer fault. FUCK LAR. if my com is causing so much problem when using wireless, then give me back my fucking wire lar! the fucking thing that really pissed me off is this sentence said by YOU! "i cannot don't use wire cause wireless got PROBLEM!" FUCK! you long time ago already know your wireless got problem, and mine also, then fucking go buy a WIRE LAR! it's only 10bucks! long time already ask you to go and buy a wire then still don't want. MY FAULT AH?!

this one already pissed me off, then those family members keep blaming me! FUCK LAR. i already explained why i'm so pissed and still i got the blame! IS IT EVEN WRONG TO BE ANGRY WHEN I'M BEING WRONGED?! GET YOUR FUCKING FACTS RIGHT! i know you admit your mistakes already, BUT WTF! my fault again?! YOU TELL ME WHO CAN CHANGE THEIR MOOD SO FAST! I WAS CRYING WHEN SAYING OUT MY FEELINGS! AND YOU WALKED OUT OF YOUR ROOM TO SAY YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE AT FAULT ALREADY. YES, I KNOW, BUT YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE FEELING OF REMORSEFUL! AND HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CHANGE MY MOOD SO FAST! "FROM CRYING" TO "AWW, NO WORRIES" ISIT?! GET A LIFE MAN! I DOUBT YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE ME!!

IT'S BETTER TO BE A MUTE OR A DEAD PERSON THAN BE ME SEH! I THINK BEST IS BEING A DEAD PERSON!

2010-08-02T13:09:00.004+08:00

pissed. don't know why people like to see others getting into single-hood. -.-

reason number 1: u're just freaking jealous that a pretty girl is attached, but the guy is not you

reason number 2: u're just sick in the brain

reason number 3: you're just bored and just enjoy seeing people changing status

everyone wants a ever lasting relationship with the special partner in their lives. but when will the right one turn up? when we don't have a partner like the friends around us, we feel jealous, emo and worthless. because we don't get the same amount of attention and love compared to others. we always think that being in a relationship is so nice, being loved and cared, someone to share our burden with. but when we're in a relationship, we start to complain about the other half, that happened to me before and after being in a relationship.

i got into a relationship initially because i want to feel being loved and all, i actually find my other half cute. ya. it's me! he knew bout all these as well. but as time pass, i realise that wasn't the case, i fell in love with him. i need him always by my side, i need him to love me, 'sayang' me when i'm feeling down. coax me when i'm angry. i always need him by my side, missing him, thinking about the silly things he did to make me angry/touched.

and one thing i realised is that maintaining a relationship is not an easy task. it's tough trying to accommodate each other when our character clashes. i'm always raising my voice at him, i know he hate it when i raise my voice at him, but i just couldn't control my temper.. sigh. i tried changing, but, i always failed. i'm going to try again! for our love. =]

seeing friends around me happy, i'm also happy. especially when they are loved by their other halves. i really hope they can last. *this only applies to guys who really treat my friends well, don't flirt, don't play, stay faithful and all those gd things of a bf* it's not an easy task to find a good boyfriend. nobody is perfect, and i mean everyone. but as long as the person stays faithful and dun play/ fool around, and both of them really love each other, i believe anything can work out.

to those who have yet to find the other half:

i believe that everyone will have the other half waiting for them in another corner, wait patiently and i believe the right one is there waiting as well. one is enough to last for the rest of the life. stay happy people!

and gen!! i miss u seh!!! today u not in school, i super bored lorr =( make me so emo now! =( sigh. and today without u really sucks. really. don't even know what to do for ppt. shall explain to you when you're back tomorrow =]

and baby, i really love you =]

on a side note: * can anyone tell me why there are spams on my tagbox? =.=

2010-07-31T00:49:00.002+08:00

my special one is right beside me now!!!

i'm tired and bored. hahaha. i don't know what to blog actually.

fyp I is over, results will be out soon -.- fyp II will start straight after UT3 for 2 weeks, before UT3, the three weeks of holi, 2 of which will be used for attachment while the last week is for studying. 0.0 OH DAMN! when will my life get better. hahaha. with my boy, yup, everything's great. hehe.

i want to have a nicer face!!! =( i can do it de! jia you! and i want to lose weight!!! OMG LAR!!!!!! i want to go swimming with baby! sentosa for sun tanning with him!! but i need to have better body first =( sig. sorry baby, we went to everywhere in SG but not these two places =( sorry.

2010-07-26T10:54:00.002+08:00

got to know quite a few branded stuffs from friends, but nothing caught my attention until yesterday, was at Isetan (shaw house) walking around with B, and this particular shop made me went in. this is the first time i actually went into a branded shop. the wallets and bags in there attracted me in. it was super nice!!! yes, the wallet i fell in love with was made from leather. not a leather fan, but this really caught my attention, it's shinny, but real leather. lyk i've mentioned previously, don't be surprised if i'm interested in branded stuffs made form leather. because i will think before buying --> if there's any purpose in buying that. wallet, i confirm will use everyday, bags? this actually made me think twice. if it's made from leather, i won't buy until i go into the workforce which requires handbags. if it's not leather, maybe i shall consider. hehe. the bags there super nice!!! wallets as well! OMG LAR!!! that's the only branded shop that attracts me!!! OMG! i did hint B in buying the wallet i had interest in and he promised that he will get it for me. hehe!!! but i shall wait ya?! maybe if got new ones, then he shall decide or maybe he can bring me go buy. hehe!

planned on what to get for his bdae already. almost the same price as the wallet. hahaha. hope he will like it =] omg, im still thinking bout the bags and wallets!!! OMG LA!!! but i cant find any pictures on those that i like, if not i will post. hahaha.

2010-07-23T10:15:00.003+08:00

i'm afraid of losing friends..

i realised that my temper changed, my character changed, i lose temper easily, or is it due to the monthly thing? i not too sure about it. i tend to say things in an offending way. i dont know what's got into me lately. sigh.

first, apologies to my FYP team:

lately, i've been showing my temper to you people easily, i'm really sorry about it. esp bl, i'm really sorry. maybe it's time for me to be a quiet person and someone who don't show temper already. i tend to say things in a bad manner, as a result, offending you people. i'm really sorry. i've been apologising to you people after i vented out my anger. but i still feel very bad for being not a good friend.

to jihui, corrine, yingyan:

maybe people do change, and it's time to accept the fact, i'm sorry for thinking that you people changed, now i do feel the change in my character. i'm wondering if our friendships are tough enough a not. whenever i meet you all, i tend to speak in an offensive way, i'm sorry. yesterday especially. i just don't know why i sent hui that msg and expressed how i feel after hearing what she said. i really don't know.. i'm sorry for making you girls angry and offended by me. sorry. i've told hui alrdy, from now on, i won't say anything alrdy. i'll keep quiet and won't voice out anything unless necessary. or is it that i'm out of the group thus i feel the distance? i'm not too sure about it. cause i feel that i'm distant from you all already. sigh. sorry for being such an asshole friend. i'll change myself..

to him:

baby, i'm sorry for always making you angry, venting my anger on you and everything. i don't need to say much, you already know alot already.

to everyone:

i'll change myself. i wont be saying all these things already. i will learn to keep things to myself and express myself lesser for the benefit of everyone. sorry.

2010-07-19T23:06:00.002+08:00

had been having nightmares continuously for days/weeks. maybe i'm under too much stress or have been worrying too much. sometimes it comes one after another after i'd woken up from the previous one. sometimes the dreams continued which is even worse. had been feeling weak lately, guess it's due to period ba. hope it doesn't come on 24th! because that is the assessment date for FYP, i never want to screw this presentation up. sigh, so worried.

tomorrow's Water&wastewater treatment UT. -.- haven't studied till james taught me and gen a lil bit just now after school. fyp preparation is almost done. just hope 24th will go smoothly for me and my team. =/

just so tired, still hanging on, trying to make it out of poly and rest before i hit the road again to the workforce. i'll make sure i enjoy super lots before i start working. haha.

okk. tata! time to study!! enough rest already!! JIAYOU!!

2010-07-14T18:36:00.002+08:00

busy busy busy.

if you're gonna cheat, fuck off. go and take a look at xiaxue's blog post on cheaters. i find her really cool man! the post was bout cheaters. i agree TTM with her.

busy bumble bee~ i will only be free after sem 1 ends -.- till now, it's still UT2, after which is FYP assessment (which spells the end of FYP!- part 1 FYI -.-) followed by a series of school days then attachment for 2 weeks during the holidays then 3rd week is used to study for UT3 then after which is UT3 -.- finally holidays before start of sem 2. HOPEFULLY i get to enjoy my holidays by then. BECAUSE, ever since 23feb (holidays before start of a new year), i'm alrdy back to school for FYP -.- and during the second holidays=no break as well. during this whole sem, i was super busy with stupid school. wad a waste of my 'youth'. hahaha. i just need ENJOYABLE HOLIDAYS!

i need holidays! i need a break from school! actually today need go school for the revision of WWT module de.. but i overslept -.- then gen also sick then no mood go also. so i'm at home doing logbook -.- need to finish up if not = sleepless night for today -.-

sat meeting genevieve and gang to buy clothes for fyp assessment. though last week we did went out, but nothing much. -.- so this sat, need to buy. with baby tagging along!! =] hehe. sun might be meeting hui, co and yan for dinner. not too sure yet. AHHHH!

2010-07-09T14:03:00.002+08:00

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”-- Natalie Goldberg

just feel super stressed out. all because of fyp.. and i accidently vented my anger on the rest of my team members, sorry. after all the stress from reports and UT, thought like finally wed can go out, but due to amendments of report again, no outing. next suggested date was tomorrow, saturday, thinking that it was like finally! and even felt happy when i told my mum. she was happy that finally i can go out for fun after all the stress and the endless sleepless nights, she even encourage me to go out. but last minute was cancelled. why? because of FYP AGAIN! when will i ever get a day off? i really don't know. tonight, i will just try to write as much of logbook as possible. i really cannot take it anymore. i need at least one day of enjoyment = get re-charge = get back to work. but it seems like i'm supposed to work all till the end of world before i can start to enjoy. i'm not that sort. it's alright, i will just follow the flow. i will try my VERY fucking best to finish up everything tonight even if there's no sleep. ps: logbook for now. i know it feels good to actually finish up everything and go out to play, but, in the midst of the work, there is a need to relax. i do know that after school i get to go CWP to walk around. that's another form of relaxing, but, to me, it's not enough.

to me now, sleepless nights are nothing already after spending so many nights rushing/ amending report. i'm used to it already.

sorry people. i'm sorry for everything i've said. i just don't like it when my plan is destroyed by something i don't like. i was happy till i thought about the outing tomorrow every night, anticipating it for so many days already, finally it came true. but with a sentence, i was pulled down all the way to hell. cancellation of something which makes me happy will turn me off totally and leave me with no mood for the rest of the days and till i finish up with everything. i just don't like it. sorry. you all may get angry with me for not being able to think. sorry. this is me.

i should be happy, for i am meeting baby for dinner and a lil bit of relaxation, but i'm not anymore. i just got the urge to go home and shut myself in the room and finish up with everything. but, i won't be treating baby fair. i'll be making him angry and all. sigh. i will try my best..

PS: a very big apology to bing long, genevieve and simin. sorry

2010-07-03T18:58:00.002+08:00

it was a great sleep! report was lyk shit. finally, it's done!! but the reply will be shocking. hahahah. edit here and there will be needed -.- after i was done with report ytd (this morning) @ around 12.30am, i went to wash my face and i shocked myself with the reflection of myself -.- pale as a sheet of white paper with super DARK eye circles -.- this is the first time i'm seeing dark eye circles so obvious. -.- nvm, nightmare is over (FOR THE TIME BEING). monday is UT alrdy, and it's time to study with sleepless nights (AGAIN). sigh.

above photos were taken on 26th june for AICO's concert. quite disappointing actually. not up to my standard of having a gold medal for SYF. the photos for the concert and pamphlets (nt really sure wad it's called, i forgot. hahah) were designed by DIANA! so cool!

2010-06-28T22:42:00.004+08:00

branded stuffs.

i bet most people goes after branded stuffs ie; LV, Burberry, Chanel and etc. i kinda pity those animals who are actually killed for their skins. oh please, don't blame the meat eaters. i do consume meat, i admit. but however, did it ever occur to you that skins of these animals on the bags, wallets, watches you're using are being retrieved first then people consume the meat?

it was found that skins were actually being taken from animals first before meat is being consumed. one crocodile keeper in Malaysia were asked about how he deals with dead crocodile, he said that he would bury them, everyone was shocked, as like what you all had been thinking, thought it should be eaten or the skin should be peeled off for bags etc. he answered them saying that once crocodile dies, the skin will decompose, and thus having a bad smell. so from what he'd said, u all should know that skin are taken away before meat is sold to consumers.

for the past few years, we've seen snake skin bags, crocodile bags, etc. but have you ever heard people eating them? no. their meat was 'RARE'. it's because of the market demand for more leather bags and etc, they decided to try to consume the meat of these FIERCE animals. they did research and realise that their meat is edible and high in nutrients and whatsoever. therefore more killings are out there to feed the people's stomach or desires.

i'm not entirely saying that leather goods are no-no. you can buy one or two if you're always using them. since people say that these leather goods are durable and can fit into many different occasions or even people buy them for the sake of buying since it' the trend now. if you're using them, i don't mind. BUT, if you buy lots of them and keep inside cabinet just to show off that you're rich or something. get a life. you're wasting the purpose of these bags, wallets and etc. they are meant to be used, not kept. =.= if you can say that you're using them on alternate days, i've got nothing to say.

my parents and i don't support leather goods, but we do buy leather shoes (for guys), because they do wear it almost everytime for work and it's durable like what you all know, it's more comfortable as compared to other shoes. yes, no matter how much you hate buying leather goods, you will end up buying at least one. this one i don't mind. because you're making use of the purpose. imagine those cabinets full of leather goods--> how many different animals are there? -.- i'm having this post is because i'm just curious why people buy branded bags and everything. you all can say that i'm jealous that i cant afford that's why i hate leather goods, blablabla. yes, i cant afford it, but when i thought of how they actually process these leather goods, it makes me heart pain. ya, i do consume meat and all. it's so contradicting ya? nowadays i feel sick when i see pork. because in those food shows, they always show alive piglets and tell us how cute they are.. next moment, those cute piglets they mentioned was on their tables ready to be eaten -.- sian. i really don't know. i do have many friends buying branded leather goods, but i don't feel anything. because they are making full use of the wallets/bags/watches, rather than putting them at home for show-casing.

PS: i don't object to buying branded stuffs or leather goods. next time if i buy fred perry or things from branded labels, don't say that i contradict myself or maybe years down the road you will see me having a branded leather bag/wallet? i can't say that so early that i won't be having one in future. so just something for you all to note. if people who bought branded goods, don't scold me ah. i'm just stating what i think and still, a lot of questions are in my head. make full use of the things you buy. don't let the animals die in vain, their skins were made into products for use, not for show casing -.-

2010-06-19T16:12:00.002+08:00

sometimes i reflect on myself, but i don't change. i did tried but always failed.

i just feel that i'm not that type of person who actually will msg friends, family or other people who are close to me and ask "hey! how are you!" or etc. i just dunno hw to do it. it's just not me, and i feel so fake. BUT, sometimes i feel that when i missed someone a lot, i will msg but at the same time, i need help from them. i don't want my friends around me to think that i only msg them when i need them. it's not.. i really don't know. so confused that i might offend any of them. sigh. sometimes just so contradicting. feel bad by not msg-ing them all the time, yet feel that when i msg them, they will feel as thou im using them only. sigh. i really don't know how to express it.

to me is that when you love someone, it doesn't mean that you need to say it all the time, because as time passes, it seems fake. so i don't feel the need to actually msg all the time to tell tt person you miss him or her, unless he/she is ur partner then its a different case already. but for friends or family, it's just sooo, weird. sigh. i post this suddenly cause i feel emotional now and feel that i should let my friends know if they are reading my blog. those who are close to me will understand and they already noe it years ago. sigh.

on a lighter note (not so light actually. haha), i need to complete my report soon. ARGH. and baby started work today =] at paya labar de shop and save there. pris! visit him ya!? hahahaha.

i've made lotsa sisters and brothers and (close/good)friends; (these are just FEW of them who made my life in school or outside or future more colourful =] thanks friends ❤)
PRIMARY school: jihui and yingyan --> more than 10 years of friendship =]
SECONDARY school: shuyu, filzah, corrine
SAKURA: shu ting, hidhir, azmil
POLY: priscilla, genevieve, bing long, simin, and the gang of people i'm always with like clara, janice, yunny, and other girls and guys. hahah. too many to name
outside: evelyn--> she's my jie jie since pri 4 =D cool or wad! NEWLY MADE FRIEND! she's like a da jie jie to me--> KARENE! =] and of course the boyfriend of jihui: james

a lot of changes in my life as a teenager, and now, am so called considered as a young adult. life is so interesting with the UPs and DOWNs being so called "planned" by gods. like though future is already being planned, but it's still up to us to change it. because when we've encountered problems, we're always being given choices to make and therefore people say that "future is in your hands". i'm not saying that my thinking applies to everyone, but it applies to me. =]

to someone special:

i may be irritating or being a super big KPO, but i do care for you. i've got no rights to know anything bout your life, but i'm concerned bout you. sometimes i just hate you so much that i don't wan to care anymore, but however, whenever seeing you not happy, i'm not happy either. because deep in my heart i still care. though u're always scolding me and all, and i always cry and swear at you, but i do love you. i just to be a part of your life. please don't see me as some outsider because i can be your listener when you need one =]

your sister

2010-06-16T00:46:00.003+08:00

a lil busy...

UT1's finally over!! but, next UT will be in july. sigh. this year's schedule is just too packed that i can die! i do have scars on my face from the healing of pimples and it's been with me for YEARS!! it's time for me to do something about it. and yes, i am! persuaded mummy to buy Clinique's product for me which cost 89$ and mummy spend around 170 on foundation and a serum which helps to clear her dark pigments as well. and for almost a week, she can see that her face is getting better already! mine still "in progress". because hers is apply daily twice a day while mine is so called "mask" which can only be used twice a week. so i need to wait patiently =) so we spent 250$ on three products, however, she gave us lots of different samples to try as in on other parts of the face and those few things cost nearly 100$ already? hahaha. cool or wad. i must say that the samples aren't that small. i took a photo, will post it up some time later because i didn't transfer it into computer =D

celebrated my very first year with Mr. Teo. so happy bout it =] love you. i don't wish for forever, i just wish for you to be with me till we part this world. HEE!
few things that i want to do with you:

go picnic with you
go overseas with you
go cycling with you
watch all the movies that we love
hold you tight every night to sleep when you're by my side
get married to you
dream of you
have a wonderful house with you
have two kids with you =))
have a wonderful life with you! you and only you! =]

2010-06-01T22:04:00.002+08:00

holidays but not enjoying it. FYP all the way. just can't wait to get rid of school work for the last year! >(

going to be the first year since i knew him and the very first year that i'm going to spend with my boyfriend. everything seems so unreal still.. though it's going to be a year now. time passes so fast. quarrels during this period has been tough for both of us.. tears, laughter, joy, happiness, sadness, jealous-ness, everything just comes together. what's a relationship without a mixture of all? but everytime we quarrel, i always thought of giving up.. but my heart was in pain when saying the two words.. he is always the one giving in to me.. love you baby.. =D

2010-05-25T10:16:00.003+08:00

i'm a bad girl. i didn't consider other people's feelings and did what i want.

ahhhh! suddenly, i got the urge to actually take up license quickly and buy a car. nowadays, cars are something that i've been noticingon the road. like the different "brands", the shape, the colour and everything i can observe. but, i don't know the names of the cars. hahaha. this is something i need to learn already. hehe.

currently having a very bad week. ya, like every month. haha. and it's way better compared to the previous 2 months. am grateful to have Mr. Teo, my beloved mummy and genevieve lee. =DD especially Mr. Teo who has to endure my nonsense every month and still counting.. will be posting a note somewhere in june to express something. hehe. secret. hehe. love you baby =]

cramps! get away from me! =( oh ya!!! have been watching vampire diaries with Mr. Teo during the weekends and forgetting to study. AHHH! so dead lar!. but it's super nice! OMG!!! so hot! AHHHH! the photos! OMG LAR! spent time ytd to find all those photos. but am still finding for more hot photos! hahahah

2010-05-19T22:14:00.002+08:00

it's fucking angry to see that your school is actually being looked down at.

so what if RP is the lousiest poly in singapore? so what if RP is different from other schools by doing presentations everyday instead of having tutorials and lectures? so what if their timing is being fixed just like office hours? so what is RP students get A easily daily and during UTs? does all these give you a reason to look on RP students? NO! each poly has their own weaknesses and strengths. is doing presentations an eyesore to you? or are you just jealous that we're always practicing our presentation skills and being forced to find information rather than being spoon-fed with notes given. so what if RP is a newly built school? so what if RP sucks? is that any of your matter? if RP doesn't exist, where will those students with very poor O' levels be? drop-out? private? so how many more private schools will be set up again to cater to those poor students? there are also students with very good O's in RP, like single pointers. are they also lousy in your eyes? just because they are in RP, means that they are as lousy as other students just for one reason. "as long as you are in RP, you sucks. because you're only doing presentation everyday".

i really don't get it. why must RP students be looked down at? i really don't get it. so what if RP students only know how to do presentation? sigh. disappointed. VERY..

2010-05-18T21:35:00.002+08:00

UT UT UT! everything before holiday is UT!

sigh. i already screwed UT1 for proteomics.. i really am stressed now! tomorrow is lab UT and next thurs is material sci UT. and it's holidays! YES! can go play with Mr. Teo already! =DD and the thing i thought of doing is to make BENTO for him to bring to school. hehe. then during holidays got attachment, don't even know if got pay a not seh! AHHH! i need the money. people say no money then work for experience, i know that experience is more important. but i need the money now! sigh. and what is attachment without money? must well within these two weeks of holidays go out enjoy till siao right? -.- sigh. forget it. at least i still have GSM and GLHM during those attachment days. =P

my goal for next year is to get car license =D sigh. stressed about this although. not bout money but the tests i will need to go through. so after i graduate, i'm going to aim for car license =P hopefully can get it fast fast. i'm worried that i can't even pass my BTT. HAHAHA! one group says that close both eyes can pass, another group of friends fail BTT. -.- WTH! so contradicting lorr! hahaha. never mind lar, next year then see my luck. got more time to study also. =D

this year is super hectic for me. sigh. i don't even have time for myself. even the pathetic 2 weeks of holidays are also being destroyed by "SOMEONE". agreeing to the attachment in front of the I/C then asking us if we agree to having the attachment IN FRONT of I/C -.- what else can we do about it? -.-holidays gone.. after holidays, back to FYP again! -.- wtf! totally no life as mentioned by gen. hahah. everything so CUI!!!!! just hope to maintain my GPA then graduate smoothly then get car license then work then earn money, then save then enjoy my life! ok. working will not let me enjoy, but the money can let me buy things for my love ones and for myself =D ahhhh! so fed up now! third year so hectic!!!!!

2010-05-16T16:32:00.003+08:00

sigh. previous post.. i felt as if i've offended a lot of people. but, this was what i've been feeling for quite a period of time already. sigh. please don't be offended by me.. as in the ones i've mentioned.. it's my heart felt feelings.. sigh. because i really feel inferior to you all. sigh.

i admit that i look at branded goods also. is clinique considered one? cause that's my most expensive make up i have. haha. sian. AHHHH.. why am i like tt? ahhh! people have their way of thinking.. why am i like tt? sigh. forget it la..

2010-05-16T15:08:00.002+08:00

just feel weird.. he has friendly match for bball just cause he joined some club. i can't stand it. is like i'm left alone whenever he got a match.. sigh..

and friends.. i just feel that i'm the one who never change.. everyone is after branded stuffs and money. everything also must be branded. i don't get it.. it's a sign that tells me that i'm not fit to be their friends.. for i've got no money to spend like them. they also got rich boyfriends who can support them as well.. i'm not saying that its bad to keep thinking about money. but aren't life simple the better? why must we be slave for money? just for those branded goods? or is it the friends we're together with making us go for branded stuffs and getting more money? i don't get it. maybe different people have different mind sets of a good life. earning lots of money for future is good, but however, when one starts to go for branded stuffs.. all money earned will go down the drain. how much money is actually needed to satisfy our needs for branded stuffs? i really don't get it.. i admit that i'm poor, but i'm happy, of course, with more money, i will be more happy. but, what if you're rich to start with? and if one day you're broke, will you be happy again? it's like you've dropped from a very high place to a low place. for those who are a bit poorer, even if they got money and broke once again, they can still be happy. because they've been at this low level before.

i don't know what to say.. i felt this way after looking at aiai's blog.. the moment i saw her update.. it was all about those branded stuffs she wants/ gotten. Dior, chanel, M.A.C.. all are seen from her post.. i just feel that i'm not in the same circle as them - jihui, corrine, yingyan.. i feel inferior when being with them, be it because of money, looks, branded stuffs.. i lost to them in all these things.. when they talka bout brands and stuffs, i know nuts about it. sigh. i belong to a while different world from theirs.

i also want to have money to go shopping, but at the same time, i always thought of spending what i have/ could. last time i tend to work for money because i get to shop. but now, i realise that money cant buy a lot of things. therefore i gave up working for money but for friends and now, i even quit to study well.. now i have to think again.. UNI= rich people= more brands coming up. sigh. i also want my boyfriend to be rich, but however, it's not money that i'm after.. i'm after his love, so why should i care if he got money? as long as he love me, in future we work hard together for our family, isn't it good enough? sigh. maybe i never think so much. not like them who think far far far. i've learnt to let it go.. i'm content with my new friends made in poly and with the ones who are by my side when i needed them =] thanks people! esp genevieve, bl and simin.. we suffered together for fyp.. and baby.. sorry for everything to make you angry.. ilu. =D

2010-05-02T17:18:00.002+08:00

i always enjoy going out with Mr. Teo. =D always enjoying simple dates and meal with him. 1 more month to our very first year, my very first bf who (will be) walk(ing) with me for 365days (coming soon on 12 june!) so happy! but am still thinking of what to for on that day. somehow got an idea of what to get for him. 2 presents i guess (must save up now!!) and that day we will be going for a couple massage at Adeva @ Orchard Paragon. =P so excited! other things will see how he wants to plan. hehe. so excited!

i just realised that we four ladies' dates are all on an even date:
jihui & james couple: 12 december 2008 liying & derrick: 12 june 2009 corrine & toby: 26 jan 2010 ying yan and raymond: 24 april 2010

cool or wad?! hahaha. ok. i'm kinda bored already. baby's out to play bball- friendly match i guess. so he didn't stay till night time with me. AHHH! =( someone, give me ideas of where to eat and all! hahaha. i need ideas! =/

2010-04-23T20:30:00.002+08:00

i guess i'm somehow back to blogging? i can write my feelings over here rather than keeping it inside me..

missed school today as i had a very bad gastric pain. till now. but doc say is not gastric pain. i know as it's different, but the area is almost the same. then had diarrhea for 3 times.. vomited once just now only. sigh. i need him here with me.. even if we've nothing to do, at least i have him by my side. but.. he say he no money.i don't need him to rush over here by taking cab. aren't public transport good and cheap? 10bucks to top up ez link card can give him rides for at least one or two days, considering 3 rides per day. giving it to taxi uncle can only entitle him to one ride. i've been telling him over and over again not to take cab. i really don't know wad to sae. when i'm at his house, i can take train and bus home even if it's 12 midnight, why can't he? it's been long since i took cab, then on tue, he say he will give me money to take cab, ok, i accept it as long time i nev cab home. but he leh? come my house most of the times is take cab unless we're meeting at MRT station.

i almost fainted last month due to period, he came over to surprise me and he rushed over in cab. forgiven, cause he got some cash to spare. but i don't need all the time! i don't like him taking cab! tt day he went home before midnight and he took cab. i really don't know wad to sae. CAB CAB CAB! fuck! i just wanted to see him today as well. then he sae no money. i never said tt i wanted him to rush over or something wad!!!!!!! i know he care for me even if he's not here. i alrdy give up telling. we're always quarreling over money issues. forget it. MONEY!!!! all because of money again! FUCK IT LAR!

2010-04-22T22:34:00.002+08:00

finally i'm here to blog. haha.

year 3 started.. there's bound to be fuckers everywhere. i've never met any during past two years. and this time, it's totally different. sigh. i don't know wad to sae. haha. life. HAHAH. classes were fun in the past. but not now with fuckers. but however, i'm glad that there are people whom i know of in my different class =]

mood isn't good nowadays. period is coming, every month, my emotions can't be predicted. just like wednesday for FYP. it wasn't that good. it sucks.. as in my emotions wasn't controlled well enough.

everything ended up being my fault. i don't know why. just now got one promoter knocked on our door. normally i would hear mummy saying "dont want, no thank you". this time was different. suddenly, i heard something lyk bout SCV, Singtel, Starhub. i don't know what they were talking about. cause i was watching my show. suddenly mummy brought in one paper which listed different shows. it's almost the same for starhub's SCV, but it was from singtel. mummy ask if want anot. but all i see, out of 10 suggested tv programmes, i only see one familar one which is "dong feng" from taiwan. i don't see any others which i know of, not even kids channel or english channel. mummy ask if want a not. then sae first 3 months free. blabla bla. then i say "anything, also not my money". then they talk a while more, the guy came in, see jh playing game, talk bout the internet problem we facing, wad game jh playing and all. stuck up guy. he kept asking if jh got go competition not, got anyone he know of inside those sg teams and all. then he sae "oh, cox if those top few teams one, i know them". stuck up arrogant one. -.-

continue signing everything. watching tv while dad's back and all. bla bla bla. kor came back while i was bathing and then suddenly talk bout contract thingy. this and tt. then mummy say the guy enver mention anything about contract, then when she heard bout wad kor sae, she's frightened, cause she don't like contract thingy. ended up, i was at fault. why? cause i never walk past and help her to see the paper work and all. -.- just cox i only made one comment "daddy and i were still thinking why need to sign till so long". yup. my fault. EVERYTHING my fault. i really don't know why.. she sae lyk since i alrdy know so long, why don't want to come over and help see see if got problem anot and all. then i sae she also nev ask. then kor sae "still need to ask one meh? your daughter" ha. if he was at home, and he's doing his stuff, would he come over? most probably not. ha. i'm being blamed. whatever. i'm used to it. but it still hurts alot. everything my fault. i'm wondering if i wasn't at home, would she sae it was my fault for not being home early? sigh.. fuck up. this is not the only incident alrdy. past few weeks, same thing happened again. long story. i ended up being scolded for being kpo, noisy, talk too much when i wasn't siding anyone.. Don't want to talk about it anymore, forget it. sigh.

2010-03-15T20:23:00.002+08:00

WOW. its been long since i blogged! hahah =] kinda busy and lazy. =P

kaiji is nice!! must watch! hahah. being too clever kills. muahahah. i dunno wad to blog actually. haha. going for fyp meeting for the next 3 days~ lalala. and on wed, might be playing badminton with gen and dunno who else. haha. so long never exercise alrdy. die! oh oh! my goal every week is to lose 2kg. every week 2 kg is possible. then by this year end, i MUST lose 10kg! YES! or more. i dunno. just by end of the year i wan to lose at least 10kg, possible?? yeah. i tried losing 10kg within 3 months. hehe. unhealthy way of course.AHHH!

because mr teo said if i lose 10kg, he will buy me whatever dresses i want! muahaahah. my motivation! jiayou!!!! =]

2010-02-25T21:08:00.004+08:00

fyp started since tue.. and most of us are already sick. HAHAH. due to those cookies.. =DD want photos? look at my fb then. hahah. am sick today.. headache persist till this morning.. didn't know why. but i kept having weird dreams that made my poor lil brain think alot in my dreams.

cookies are nice... but will we be scared of them in future? HAHA. hope not.. and and.. our cookies are nice!! hahah. so happy! haha.

i miss everyone in sakura!! =( and i miss fil and shu and ting!!

2010-02-19T17:54:00.002+08:00

first ever valentine's day celebrated!! =)) muacks! thank you boy! =D

my first valentine's day presents from him!! =)) first ever! haha. he spent quite a lot of money on these two items seh!! heart pain =( but i still love it!! hehe. and he's been stayin over since monday!! hahaha. sooo long! =) so good. because whenever i got nightmares, he is always by my side. tee-hee.. thank you baby!! =*

yan.. dun cry ler ok? haha. you will get used to it de! hahahah. cox he will still need to sail off now and then! hahah. so.. endure!! =DD jiayou!!

dear dear's bdae coming.. come on!! think think think!! hahaha.

2010-02-10T19:11:00.002+08:00

ok.. two UTs gone.. now left with MCB and chemistry! =DD super happy!

have been very stressed up these few days.. sigh.. but environmental science is DONE and OVER with!! super happy that for ut2, i got B! yes. so my F is being covered.. hehe. just hope ut3 will be at least a C then i will be safe.. if not, i really don't know ler. sighh..

temper has been bad these few days. sigh. lose my temper easily.. sorry baby.. my bad.. i just wish to get over with these stupid UTs.! and yes yes! chu er, baby's following me to bai nian =D super happy! =DD

2010-02-03T09:45:00.002+08:00

meet little miss monster aka act cute by shu ting. HAHAHA
she's the biggest soft toy i've gotten thanks to HIM =D but i'm already happy with it. thank you mr TEO =DD

sigh. been very tired and stressed up with school. UT3's next tuesday =( how how how? am still stuck with psychology -.- feel lyk partial today seh=(

2010-01-29T19:41:00.001+08:00

YES! tomorrow going out with my special one! like finally!! =D and will be having dinner at sakura! OH YES!!! double YES! haha. long time never see my lovely colleagues already!! especially FILZAH BABE and SHU TING BABE! hahah. miss them and others so much =DD

thanks to baby for bringing me there to eat. hehe. muacks!! =D

2010-01-27T10:28:00.004+08:00

i like this sentence: "how interesting can one's life be...?"

people change over the years. people are looking materialistically for future partners; good job, stable income, got good prospects, having car and license.. the simple life everyone yawned is long gone, disappeared into the atmosphere. here i am, trying to accept the changes in people around me but sticking to my principle. sometimes, i will think, do i have the potential to look for guys materialistically? what if i do? i guess i wouldn't be able to meet HIM..

people go round in circles searching high and low for their happiness. thinking what they have now is their future, but in actual fact, they still prefer the starting point, therefore going back to where they were. after which, they will pursue for their "future". but to realise that the (OLD) starting point isn't what they wanted again, because they found a new starting point.

feelings comes and goes without noticing. this is something many people realise/know. but however, people tend to miss the opportunity to pursue their future due to some reasons they will always consider; friends, consequences, feelings, and most importantly, their future. all these things are being put into consideration as it might affect their future if they don't think.

couples are loving and sweet. quarreling cannot be prevented no matter how much you love the person. it can be considered as a tool to bring couples closer or bring them further apart thinking that they don't know who their partner is already. such a tool comes and goes too. you will never know when you and your partner is going to argue. to prevent it? i'm not too sure either. because i'm the one always finding fights with HIM =x but i LOVE HIM ok? hahah.

sometimes, i'm jealous of my friends. they are always living in an interesting life.. having guys around them, treating them like ladies, lots of guys woo-ing them. but they end up in circles? hahaha. i'm laughing because i've seen them in person "running in circles". it's just funny how things turn out to be.. here i am being envious of them, on the other hand, they are suffering
running in circles. i know it's bad to laugh, but.. what to do? i'm liying, their friend. HAHAH

p.s i love my boyfriend, Mr. Derrick Teo
p.s i'm just stating how i feel at this point of time- first "feeling" post in year 2010. =]

2010-01-25T18:43:00.004+08:00

yan's back since last fri =) and she can't handle the jet lag. HAHA

i got nothing to blog actually. haha. nothing interesting actually.. just school and school and more of school. HAHA. and UT3 starts on 9th all the way till 12th -.- damn.. dunno if i can pass this test anot seh.. sighh.. AHHHH! why is my life so boring? -.- sian. hahah. just hope my GPA doesn't drop too much.. hahah.

2010-01-14T20:34:00.002+08:00

SHOPPING TRIP! =D

went out with ting after chem UT yesterday.. sighh.. too many careless mistakes in the UT already. AHHHH! hmm. anyway, yesterday bought CNY clothes. and ting went to search around for her stuffs also =D so happy.. it's been long since i last bought clothes =D and today, AGAIN! shopping! =D bought clothes also. hehe. =)) sat will be another shooping trip, but with BB =D and going to buy a bag and maybe more clothes!! =D damn!! going to be broke soon!! =( but sat will be BB paying. muahahaha! bag only la. hahah.

sighh. this week's daily grades and plus the UT1 grades' by the side REALLY IS BADDDDD!! super bad!!!! sighh.. this week isn't a good week. next week!! JIAYOU!!! =DD

shopping = love x3

yan;s coming back!! =) 21st =] just nice i got no sch on thurs =DD

2010-01-12T13:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 7MONTHSARY , BABY =] -- LOVE u, piggy =D

hong did well for his O's- R4: 12, R5: 17.. he never really studied i should say. but why is he always getting good grades?! DAMN! that isn't fair at all.. sighh.. but still, am happy for him =D
yan's coming back REAL SOON!!~ XD super happy XD
and i had my first lunch in school for sem 2 TODAY!! YES!! first lunch eaten in class with friends!! =D
did badly for my environmental science UT=F =.= yes, i got a very rare grade. hahah. but, never mind. hope UT2's grade will at least pull me up a little.. a C for overall UT1 and 2 will be great =D
tomorrow's chemistry UT is gone i guess.. =( not prepared at all..
held a celebration at home for hong and his friends and derrick was invited XD and kids nowadays.. -.- two of them were talking dirty and wanting to watch IT using com -.- wth are these kids doing!? i know they are curious, but, it's disgusting to watch IT and at friend's house in front of the SISTER and her BOYFRIEND. don't they find it weird? -.- but they never lar.. they also don't dare.. TSK. kids. hahah..
watched "hi, my sweetheart" ep 11 with boy and OMG! keep crying seh =( super sad! i can't wait for next episode! super exciting already!!! XD but confirm very sad!!

i decided to put all things in point form is because i'm lazy to put everything up in story and it will be super long and BORING~ so the important points are being put up already =D

2010-01-04T12:04:00.007+08:00

ok.. photos! finally! =) except for those in melaka. =) the top photos are kor's 23rd birthday celebration on the 2nd jan @ Ginza, and 3rd jan @ sushi tei with family and my boy. then the bottom photos are baby's 21st birthday celebration on 29th @ his house- a surprise visit and stayover!! =) and on 30th @ thai express with his mom and brother =) enjoy..! and my aiai's coming back from germany!! muahahahah. better be back early!! =D and corrine's having a bad toothache.. or should i say, she's suffering from the pain given by the WISDOM tooth -.- recover fast ya?!?

2010-01-01T18:43:00.002+08:00

i was on facebook, looking at people's profile and all.. suddenly i came across this profile.. i was shocked.. i added him as a friend quite long ago, but he didn't accept it.. while someone whom we all know also, added him recently, he accepted.. it made me wonder..

he's someone i know, not that i anyhow add people.. he was ONCE my friend.. i mentioned "once" is because i don't know if he's still my friend, or does he treat me as a friend.. somehow or another, it hurts.. he's not the only one.. it seems like they've forgotten bout me.. i was a burden to them in the past, i admit. i was too dependent on them already thus causing the pain they inflicted on me.. i believed in them, thinking that they are my friends who won't leave me, will still contact at least during those special occasions. but i guess, they dun even bother bout contacting me.. not even wishing me "happy birthday".. i've been bothered bout this thing ever since secondary 3.. it hurts.. till now.. i might not mention anything in front of the others, but deep inside me, i really wished they remembered.. i do remember theirs.. i've put on my organizer.. but.. i don't know how to wish them.. its like, one sided thinking of me.. i do find myself a fool sometimes.. it's already been so long, why cant i just let it go and stop thinking bout it and move on.. treat it as if i've never met them.. i tried.. its not easy..

who likes to lose friend? no one does.. sometimes, its not up to us to decide at all.. i'm trying to move on.. treating those people who left me, part of my story who made my year 2009 great and colourful.. they left years before i could be independent. i must really thank them for everything though..

today's the start of year 2010.. yup.. i'm rotting my ass off here.. while mr teo is sleeping his ass off.. club with 2 other couples on the start of an end @ rebel.. it was terrible. hahah. with people squeezing and all. =.= super warm inside lar! haha. but quite fun la. =P cause mr teo is the first guy i spent with celebrating the last two special occassions with for year 2009 before it ended =D thanks b =)

2009-12-23T14:50:00.003+08:00

above pictures are taken on two occasions. one is half year celebration with baby and Zu's 20th birthday =DD

i miss my working colleagues!!! =(

i wan to hug my boy now!~ =((

i going malaysia with him already!! muahahah! =D

2009-12-14T20:35:00.002+08:00

i'm watching this show on channel u- xing qing da dong yuan.
this family they are helping for this week(as being aired on television today) made me teared.

mrs low is happy with the new item in her kitchen- a sink which she has been waiting for for 3 years.. it made her so happy that she couldn't sleep the night before.
mr low is happy with the new flooring in their bedroom which made him fight back his tears.
their only son, zhong hong, 12 years old has no wish on getting anything but just hope that his father will recover and take care of the family. he cried when yi feng questioned him..

he's just a 11 year old child, who has to face so many problems bravely. he knows about his family's condition: father is sick and may go anytime, mother's memory is getting younger and younger such as a 5 year old kid. living for 12 years, all he asked for was a soccer ball from his dad. the ball is torn and he's still using it without complaints. even on his birthday whereby the whole crew celebrated with him, all he wished for was for his dad to recover...

this family really made me think twice before asking for things.. i should be content with what i have now: my loving family and my boyfriend. everyone's thinking that money is important. yes, i agree, money can get whatever you want to make you happy.. but the most important thing is "LOVE". if there's no love, will you be happy? i'm content with my simple life..

p.s: to my silly boy.. no matter rich or poor, i just want to be with you =] leading a simple life. =] muacks!

` 爱可以很简单

2009-12-09T11:39:00.003+08:00

yesterday baby fetch me from school! =) had dinner at his house.. his mommy wants derrick to wash plates therefore she asked me to wash. haahah. cause bb can't bear to see me wash plates. muahaha. he dotes on me..~ lalala. =D

today's lesson is boring.. so little things to do -.- sighh..~~

i miss him already!!

updated``

haha. today's class was bored, so some of the classmates played with puzzle fighter. HAHAH =D fun =D and i miss BB =(

there's a AICO bbq on fri! =D it's been long since i last met those people =D and sat is my half a year with b and shuyu's concert =D excited!!

2009-12-06T00:28:00.002+08:00

wednesday night =D

i changed my top as i couldn't match a bottom with it. HAHAH.

anyway, i saw my grades for last week. super not nice.. sighh. especially chemistry ='( a C and still need to minus off 0.5 -.- due to lateness. sigh, blame myself.. first being late, secondly, fell asleep in class. sighh. never mind!! next week! i really need to buck up!! last week before school holidays!! i really need to get back my A's =( i can't do badly! i need good GPA, but on the other hand, what if my UTs aren't doing well, what's the diff? =.= sighh.. but no matter what! no more skipping of school!!!! and need to study for second and third UTs =/ sighh.. i need my A's back =( no use saying and not doing anything right? right, so let's work hard!!! =( ahh! when i get A, i'm late. damn! its as if im getting a B!!!! @#@%# i'm fucking disappointed in myself.. last sem and last year i was hardworking.. hardly skipped school until last few lessons, but this sem.. i'm totally a changed person.. sighh.. now i regret.. its time for me to be back to who i am already.. i even got a warning letter from RP.. -.- cause i skipped 5 times -.- what's going on?!??! =(

goal for this sem: get as much A's as possible!!- for daily grades lar. haha. UT, hmmm.. will think twice before saying it. hahah.

today, went to return uniform to sakura.. yes, i'm determined.. i quitted. i fired my boss. =/ i miss them.. really. hmmm. anyway, my boy met me at orchard, after he settled his problems.. sighh. i feel so bad that i couldn't help him at all. ='( im such a useless gf.. all i can do is to accompany him and make him feel better.. so i met him and i brought him shopping! yes.. he spent on two tees and a formal.. =D glad that he enjoyed himself and forgot about the problem when with me =D

2009-12-01T10:46:00.003+08:00

"The couple that fights the most is the one most in love... it shows they care enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention it to the person so they can fix it. When you stop fighting it means you stopped caring."

got this from corrine's blog. HAHAH. i credit u ok? haha. i agree.. =D

ok, i seriously need to go to school!!! i've been skipping lesson almost every day. sighh. it's really time to stop.. sighh..

i want to go shopping with my boyfriend!! =( it's been weeks since we last went out together.. =(

2009-11-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

oh yes. this is my blue black from falling down at orchard sakura. hahah. last present it gave me.. and oh ya. i quit my job.. 2yrs and 5 days. enough of living for others.. time to live on my own. yup. time to pamper myself!! YES! though i will miss these people:filzah, shu ting, hidhir, wirda, zu, hakim, ahmad, khir, miki.. sighh.

and today!! i packed my wardrobe! muahahah. see! my two bitches!! i put the present u all gave me this year inside my wardrobe!! i can see it whenever i open up!! =D and the flower u all gave me during the concert =D

2009-11-29T21:15:00.002+08:00

my boyfriend, XD corrine say he act cute. hahaha. he always complain that my blog not much bout him, this time. got pictures somemore =D going half a year already.. time sure do pass very fast!! XD <3

and aiai got the parcel already!! =) she's happy and we webcam-ed! =D haha. mommy say she lost weight, but she kept eating chocolates lorr! hahah. corrine going korea on 14th, i going malaysia on 25th-27th =D with my boyfriend and mommy, daddy and grandma XD EXCITED!! muahahah.

2009-11-26T10:32:00.002+08:00

i'm never going to delete any post. for i think i'm not in the wrong, even if i got beaten up. ~

pot calling the kettle black.. look who's talking!! XD stalk stalk stalk.. a stalk of rose? nah. i'm just talking rubbish =D

initially i thought of making my blog private, but corrine made sense. why should i? i'm not in the wrong and if i did it, it's as though i'm hiding things. yes, i agree with this. i'm not hiding things. you can sue me for slander, but did i in the first place? so nope, i'm not going to do it..

let me jus clarify things up ok? the post wasn't meant to be a threat, i also mention that i don't hate you, why get so worked up? the post initially was meant to say out how i feel about humans' nature, and explain why.. it was meant to be a sad post, a post on how i feel, i thought about it for a period of time and decided to blog... i don't see why it became a threat.. but never mind.. because i'm just an eye sore and a bitch to you, so no matter what i say, you'll find trouble with me.. i also promise not to say anything bout this matter anymore for i love that person.. so this will be the last post about this matter and hope it helps in clarifying things up.. even thou it might stir up another trouble.. but nvm, forget it.. as long as i believe that i'm not in the wrong and i meant well..

ok! people! let's start afresh! XD no school till monday!! wee~ but work till sat -.- what's the wow thing here? guess.. ahaha. because i get to see bf every night after work! =D and wahahaha, am going overseas with family and bf next month!! =D WEEE~ can't wait.. yup, am thinking of quitting the job, i cant take it already..
and oh ya, happy 2nd anniversary filzah! =D yes, 2nd anni, in sakura =D

2009-11-25T01:00:00.002+08:00

sometimes no matter how tough a guy is, he will shout in pain =P

and that's my boyfriend~~~ lalala. mommy brought him to JE to look for sensei for his old injury at the ankle. he screamed like hell lorr.. but he says that he feels better...=D

and i'll post his photos soon =D hehe =P

2009-11-24T01:42:00.002+08:00

haha. my grades are nice =D 3 crosses one A(-0.5, late). hahahah. last week, for the whole week, not counting thurs, i only went to school once.. friday i didn't go is cause of my kneecap. the last present orchard sakura gave. haha. super nice and big present. -.- even shu ting see ler also shocked. practically everyone. but some laughed at the silliness. hahah. i cant walk or stand for too long a time, because 'they' will start to argue with me already. hahaha

i guess, these few days, i've been having bad moods. the only thing that will trigger me to have bad mood is only tt small little matter.. i guess i don't hate her to the core. though i just wished she could cherish her people/belongings more.. and i've been thinking, and i came up with an answer, i hated her for this period of time is because i cant believe that such people actually exist in this world, this time. no wonder humans are said to the scariest animals on earth. i agree now.. human beings tend to change sides easily when they see that one end is losing, very quick thinking, they will change their point of view to side with the winning part. its plain childish, they just don't have their own point of view, i pity them actually.

next, this girl, she just seem to forget everything so quickly.. all she remembered bout the boyfriend are the bad things.. she totally forgot the good about him. even though the guy's family also treated her well, she forgot about it.. for those who know this story, you must be thinking why i don't hate her right? i'm curious also, even though those nasty things she did and said to me-indirectly, i'm hurt, but i don't want to fight back anymore, for i don't want to be of the same level as her. she's said to be childish, so if i fight back, wouldn't i be the same level as her? ok, back to the problem. people tend to only remember the bad things they experience from this person rather than the good things. when she 'complained' to the guy's sister, since when did the sis helped her brother? she was trying to find solution to solve problems. when family sees tt the guy isn't doing much for the gf, like neglecting her, the family talked sense into him.. but sad to say, this girl over here, keeps claiming tt she's the victim.. and she's in misery.. what about the pain and lies she inflicted to the family and the guy? she never thought of it.. even the parent of the guy also starting to feel irritated by her name.. but the family chose to let it go, treating it as if it's a lesson learnt. a painful one.

even though she's nasty and mean. but i won't hate her, i just hope that she will learn and grow up mentally fast.. do not live in the world of her own thinking tt all guys owe her.. think and cherish the boyfriend. anyway, last but not least, i do admit tt i'm a bitch, but so wad? do u admit you're one? even if you admit, i believe i'm not as bitch as you XD i'm not sure if you'll be reading this post, but i do hope tt next time in your love life, do look at things holistically.

good luck, ms poh..

2009-11-23T13:48:00.003+08:00

yeah, who says i'm not a bitch? i am one =D and proud to be one XD

2009-11-19T21:17:00.002+08:00

ahh! love my baby super much!! hehe.

tomorrow then can send aiai the parcel.. sian.. haha. anyway.. HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY AIAI! =D
it was yesterday la.. haha =D love you! when you come back, me and derrick treat u go makan, ok? =D

i think by next week then u will receive seh.. hahah.. but at least u receive wad. hahah.

love my baby~~ =D

2009-11-16T14:56:00.003+08:00

nah.. i wun fight back. because i'm not childish as you.. and if i fight back, i'm equally childish as you. not tt stupid man.. but maybe you're, that's why u fight back. oh no. not you but another person. =D people who hit their "gen nian qi" really become a weakling. sighh. saddening. k lar.. i'll rest my case, as for you, u can continue to rebuke, none of my business =D for i'm just a "mr weak's SISTER" =D

2009-11-15T19:10:00.003+08:00

ok. enough of all these.. though i'm still pissed, but i've vent out my anger already. yeah. time to rest my case. baby has been working real hard =D love him =D

p.s: when someone is being random, don't care bout him already.. when he is already finding excuse to avoid your questions, don't ask anymore =D becase nothing will come out from his mouth no matter how many times you ask him =D

okok. qaiyum is always being random, up till now.. haha. never change though being a NS mature man. hahha. people says "curiousity kills the cat", but for his case, it's "random-ness kills qaiyum". hahahaha!!!

2009-11-09T17:55:00.002+08:00

HELLO!! =D

it's been a week since i last posT? i guess. hahah. life's been great and boring at the same time. contradicting ya? i know. because i don't know what i'm feeling either =D psychology's getting more fun as each lesson pass. today's on personality =D cool or what. haha. it seems like i'm enjoying life in class right? think again. won't say much as this is a public entry.. i'm talking about life in RP. haha. people who are close to me knows what i like and don't like about the different classes. haha.

tomorrow is psychology UT followed by wed which is MCB UT followed by thurs, envrionmental science. yay.. great.. haha. chem UT is the following week wednesday -.- on aiai's birthday. wad a day. haha. and PP assesment is one of the saturdays -.- great.. i haven't start on my poster and i need to get worried bout so many things already.. anyway, money is included in my worries. hahahah.

one good news, baby got a new job =D starting work on wednesday =D love him lots lots =D

2009-11-03T18:01:00.003+08:00

haven't been blogging for a period of time already.

i'm enjoying life with derrick teo, the company of him just make me super happy. =D it's going to be our fifth month. hehe. my first relationship and it's already 4months going 5. hehe. super happy. though we do fight and argue and quarrel, but however, we still love each other deeply. just my temper and i don't know how to be an understanding gf. but still, i love him.. hehe.

dec is the time whereby my pocket will be totally burned!!! our half a year on 12th, mommy's birthday on 21, christmas on 25th, his birthday on 30th, end of year celebration on 31st -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- damn.. the last three weeks of dec is.. WTH! hahah. should have saved money few months before de.. sigh.. but never mind. haha.. will survive de.. hehe..

next week is UT week -.- even on my fifth month. sian!!!!

2009-10-27T18:52:00.003+08:00

we're fine alrdy. =D its just my temper. sighh.. but.. i just dun want to lose him. hmmm. teach me how to be a good gf! =(

2009-10-26T12:26:00.003+08:00

first time in my life of learning in RP.. hahha. all A's =D FIRST time leh!! so happy!!!! hahaha. and it's also the first time i skipped lesson for sem 2. hahaha. for A222. yeah.. i think this week will be B's again =.= damn. hahah

anyway, my darling's phone was spoiled, that's why cannot contact him. haha. yeah.. stupid phone.. it didn't happened only once anyway.

tired!!! he overnighted for two days. hehe. since sat till this morning =D i love my boyfriend =D

2009-10-24T03:51:00.003+08:00

my boyfriend is missing! i can't find him, can't contact him =( can anyone tell me where he went????? i'm very worried bout him =((

another thing is that my blogskin dun seem nice!! dun have the ♥ 120609 ♥ as title!! can anyone see it?! cox i cant! =(

i can't slp without him calling me! =( sorry to bother co and her bf. sorry.. but i was really worried.. sighh.. sorry..

darling~ can u jus give me a msg to tell me you're ok? i'm really very worried bout you =(

2009-10-21T20:43:00.003+08:00

YES!! new blogskin, new songs! =D i'm left with new blog link!! =.= help me think of something good leh!! hahah..

i lost weight.. muahahahah. though i'm not too sure bout it.. never mind, can ask him tomorrow when he comes over =D hehe.

today i was tired to go school.. yeah.. i skipped school! sighh. i don't wish to, but no choice, something happened yesterday.. hmmm.. but everything's fine now =D

p.s don't fucking force me to like someone when i already hate someone. it won't help. the thought of liking you, makes me puke! yes! fuck you, just fuck off from my life..

2009-10-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

people~ i'm doing well with him =D so dun worry ya? thanks aiai for asking. hehe..

we did quarrel, but, we're fine now =D he's still very good to me, very loving also =D iLOVEhim, heLOVEme. haha. =D muacks!!!

my mouth itchy!! DAMN! need to bite bite bite. and im fat ler.. sian! =(

2009-10-17T03:45:00.002+08:00

understanding

i guess i don't understand.. i can't understand your feelings, i can't understand your thoughts, i'm inconsiderate.. what a fucking useless girlfriend i am.. i'm just fucking useless and thoughtless.

i forgot the things that made me feel touched.. i guess the only thing i know is that u're as crazy as i am.. trying to get those silly, worthless soft toys out of the freaking machine.. spending even till the last bit of your money.. not caring of what will happen to you at till the end of the month.. everytime i regret after getting them out.. i always told myself not to do all these things again.. but, i just want to have those stupid memories with my bf.. i guess it's just me always.. i've never spare a thought for you..

its fake that i don't care bout you. i'm always thinking bout you, playing with our ring, hopping that you could be by my side whenever i turned the ring with our names matching each other. but its just stupid to think about it.. maybe i'm not grown up yet, though the fact that i'm 19..

p.s darling, i love you~ and i don't wish to see you leaving me all alone, all by myself..

2009-10-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

11th oct: HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, SHUYU! =D
welcome to the club of 19! =] many more celebrations coming our way!! =D

we celebrated with her on the actual day =D we disappointed her first, and we felt bad! super bad!! all her expressions can be seen lorr! haha. but in the end, we SURPRISED her! real surprise. =D like finally! we made her cry. muahahaha! for five years, finally. hahah!

happy forth month dar =D muacks!
thank you for cooking ytd.. hehe. love you lots!! =D

2009-10-12T09:45:00.001+08:00

his mom was admitted to hospital-SGH this morning at 4 plus =( not very sure of the details either, sighh. hope she's doing fine.. will visit her maybe later? sighh =(

today's psychology! perception =D hope its fun =D

2009-10-10T02:55:00.003+08:00

taken by fidah. HAHAHA!

fuck it~

this is the first time i feel so sucky about school. sighh.. i couldn't laugh in school, it was only when i was with THEM, that i started to laugh, thanks PEOPLE! =] i really am glad i went to work.. AND! my eyes is too painful! =( don't know why also... sighh. and i threw away my NEW contact lens!!! i jus used it one day, then on the day itself, i threw it away. long story. it's really a very sad case. sighh.. never mind.. am going to make new specs tomorrow!! =] i need one! if not keep wearing contact lens also not good. =D

i really love my baby!! hehe. he's as crazy as i am when it comes to "CATCHING toys" hahaha! super funny lorr!! =] i think the amount of toys i have by my side now cost more than 100$ already i think. HAHAH. and of course, he gave me a ring as our forth month's present =D thank B! =D what should i get for you then?? hmmmm.. sian!!!! need to think!!!!!!! hahaha. byebye!!! =]